So, my family does not know of my spiritual path. They think I'm still Christian. Why? Because I haven't told them I'm Pagan. Why? Because the Christians I have told shunned me, and with the cancer battle, to lose my brother and his family so soon after getting them back from a seven year estrangement due to my standing up for Gay rights, is just not something I'm looking forward to. So...I keep silent. I let them preach, I let them talk about their faith, and I bite my tongue and say nothing when I think I'm going to rip my hair out by the roots.
Then the news of my beating cancer comes. My brother tells me: "God's given you a second chance." I swear, I think they memorize a script. It's like those are the words they ALL have to say at a time like this. I sat there and wondered: "Given me a second chance? I'm sorry, what was wrong with my first chance at life?" I was LOVING my life before the cancer hit. I was focusing on my writing, but...I was not focusing on what the Universe had called me to do which was to teach, to practice and apply what I had learned in my Pagan studies. I didn't look at the cancer as a means to obtain a 'second chance', but a LESSON FOR my life. The cancer led me to where I'm studying Science of Mind, now. I attend a spiritual center and am learning how to face what many would look at as 'uphill' battles and how to clear the hills and ease on down the other side. I'm learning how there's a science behind 'miracles' (or magick as in my frame of thinking). I'm learning how to live.
The cancer was not a wake-up call. It was a means for me to address where my life was going. I'm back in the saddle with my writing, but...I'm adding 'teaching' to the itinerary. I said to the Universe that if they healed me, I would teach. Teach what? Whatever they wanted me to teach. I have an opportunity to become a Practitioner at my spiritual center and I'm going to grab it. I can learn and pass on what I learn. But...here's the main thing...small, no doubt, only a first step, but the Universe is moving fast.
Doc is so happy with the progress I'm making with the cancer being beaten. It's literally heading out the door and out of my life. So, no sooner do I get this news then I attend a class at my Religious Science center. I bring up Wicca philosophies. The lady next to me says, "Would you like to teach a workshop on Wicca? We consider ourselves an Inter-faith church, but we don't know much about Wicca." I say, "I would LOVE to do a workshop! That would be great!" She clears it with the Reverend and...the process begins. I am to teach a workshop sometime in January. Fast moving, but I'm up to the challenge. It's just a two hour overview of Wiccan beliefs. But...I'm teaching.
On the way home from the class, I was grinning from ear to ear. It's not a second chance, it's an opportunity for me to grab what I'd been afraid to grab onto before. An opportunity...to pass it forward. The Universe asked me to teach before and I didn't think I could...the cancer was not a second chance...it was a lesson to teach me how NOT to be uncertain about who and what I am or what I believe.
My life is back on track...only the track has widened. I plan on teaching and learning and moving forward with my life...and will watch as the first calling manifests into the now and what wonders I will see and share with others.
Not a 'second chance'...a continuation of what I had been learning before. The cancer was not a bad thing. It was a lesson. And like all lessons the homework can be pretty tough, but what you learn from them...stay with you forever.
And...if in other POV's this IS a second chance...then I'll take my seconds to-go, please. I have a life to get back to.
Thanks for listening/reading.
In perfect Love, and perfect Trust,
Myristica
